Hakuna Matata :)

Let’s see.. I’ve missed almost 2 weeks. Forgive me.

Today’s Gem: NO MATTER WHAT, BE HAPPY!!!!

If you’ve read my previous posts, you’re aware that I announced my pregnancy and then miscarried about 2 weeks later. By far, the hardest thing I’ve gone through in my adult life. I’m still standing though! Believe it or not, I’m in such a good place. I wasn’t expecting to be happy for a long time because I wanted to be a mother SO badly but God’s grace and mercy is something to shout about!!

Losing my baby left me feeling depressed, broken, and very inadequate as a woman. The first week, I did two things: cried & slept. I took a 3hr train ride to my parents house and stayed for a week because there is nothing better to me than hugs from my parents (or boyfriend) when I’m down. We ended up stopping by my aunts house and through a much needed conversation, I discovered that she had been through two miscarriages in her lifetime. I wouldn’t wish a miscarriage on anyone but it was great to be able to talk to people who had been through it before.

As the weeks went on, the numbness wore off and I began to feel hopeful again. Through faith in God, a lot of prayer & crying, conversation, and meditation, I slowly emerged as a new version of myself.

I am the happiest I have been in a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still sad about losing my child, but I am thankful that I got to experience such joy and excitement to begin with. I know that in due time, I will be a great mom. For now though, I will just try my best to be a great person.

Bad things happen in life but if we dwell on the negative, we will miss out on so many blessings and reasons to be happy. Why stress over things/situations that we truly have no power over? Yes, it’s so much easier to say it but all I ask is that you try. Try to find happiness in every situation because it is far too easy to get caught up in the bad.

 

So take some advice from Simon & Pumba; Hakuna Matata 🙂

 

Until next time: Be you. Do you. LOVE YOU!

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Hakuna Matata :)

  1. Just Saturday I loss my baby .. I was 22 weeks pregnant. . That morning I started feeling pain , a weird pain . I called the doctor they told me they believe I was in preterm labor to head to the ER ASAP . I got to the ER , they where monitoring the baby heart baby which was good. 10 mins in the ER I started feeling the worse pain of my life then I heard a splash . My water broke , I started crying so much . The doctor comes in and tell me if your baby comes out today unfortunately it won’t survive . Hearing does words made me feel like my heart came out my chest . I felt mad , upset , sad so many mixed emotions . WHY ? Is all I kept thinking. Why is this happening to me God whyyyyy. But as soon as I heard does words I started praying “ God take control of this situation , what ever you want to happen I will trust in you”. .. the doctors where trying to go the best they could to keep the baby from coming but like you said God had other plans! Within an hour I was already 5cm dilated , I kept crying and crying . They took me to the delivery room just waiting for the baby to come.. all I kept saying to myself is God I’m trusting in you , I’m heart broken but I’m trusting in you! They kept asking me if I wanted to hold the baby and if I wanted pictures . I was upset with the doctors with myself with life with everything . . I kept saying no I didn’t want to , that would of been more painful …. then i started feeling the contractions stronger and stronger . My baby boy was coming!!! It was a sad/excited feeling …. had my baby boy , came out with a heart beat . They put him on my chest , I couldn’t even look at him because the pain was too much . But while his on my chest I felt his movement , his little legs , kept hearing his heart beat . I started crying .. they changed him and where just waiting for his last breath! To wrap it up , I’m in so much pain , hurt . I even started feeling guilt.. maybe this was my fault . My husband and I were so excited to become parents ( our first child ). Every time I look at the picture I start crying . I can’t stop being sad . Just hurts so much. I thank God for my family that’s been so supported . But is been so hard , making funeral arrangements , having people asked me what happen ect … but like you said try to find happiness in every situation . Even though is so much easier to say then do . I been trying to stay positive , to understand Gods plan . But gueezeee it’s been so hard ….. thank you for does motivating words that I will try and remind myself of .

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    1. Let me start by saying I am SO sorry for your loss. Losing a child is hard at any stage but my heart truly goes out to you. I know all to well the pain of being so excited to become a first time mom and feeling like your heart was just ripped from your body. You are going to feel so many emotions and my advice to you is to let yourself feel every single one of them. I tried to distract myself from the pain & keep busy. Ultimately that let me into a dark depression. Once I started to tell myself “It’s okay to not be okay”, I started to grow through the pain. I prayed every day for God to restore my heart and I will do the same for you. I ended up going back to a therapist and it really helped me. I was able to release everything I was thinking/feeling out into the open and leave it there. Now I’m at the point where I can talk about my miscarriage without crying but it took me almost a year to get here. Just remember, you’re not in this alone. If you ever need support and feel like you can’t turn to anyone else, you can turn to me. 💜

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